Worst Advices for a New Mom-

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Home » Articles » Worst Advices for a New Mom-
Pragya Mishra

Pragya Mishra on Sat Jun 15 2024


1. Sleep while your baby sleeps.

Every new Mom is advised this one that sleep when your baby sleeps, which is basically impossible to follow. It can only be possible in case if a mother have 24*7 help round the clock by her side which is actually an ideal situation for a Mom, like preparing her food, cleaning her clothes, making bath for her, folding her laundry etc etc etc. But like every other case, nothing is ideal in the world. So, this advice despite of all the advice is not practically possible to sync the sleep cycle with the baby. As soon as your baby falls asleep, you have ten thousands of chores to finish and as you finish those, your baby is awake and now you have to be with the baby to feed or to change diaper or for any other need.

2. Feed your baby every 2 hours.

This is also the advice usually given to the Moms that feed your baby every 2 hours to make sure that the baby is full. I was also given this advice b y one of the nurse, but my doctor said otherwise. She asked me to feed my baby on demand irrespective of the time. So I followed her. I fed my baby on demand even if it is on the interval of 2 hours or 15 minutes or 30 minutes. If my baby wanted to be fed I will not say 2 hours did not pass I will feed him after 2 hours only. Sometimes, babies do cluster feeding they feed for 5 minutes and then do not and then again asks for feed. Also never wake your baby to feed provided baby is gaining enough weight. If in case your baby is under weight, consult your pediatrician before overfeeding your baby.

3. Do not breastfeed your baby exclusively: Introduce bottle too.

I have heard this a lot. Do not breastfeed your baby exclusively. “You will be restricted at home and can never go out.” said by many. On the contrary I travelled a lot with my new born and I never had to worry about his food or formula just because of the fact that I was feeding him exclusively. I only had to find a place to sit and a stall to cover myself and there I go. As I was not going office to work so that also made this process possible for me. No judgement to the Moms who are bottle feeding their babies or whatever mode they are following to feed their new born, I understand that every mother is doing the best for their child. But I am just saying what I followed and worked out for me. Love to all the Mothers out their taking care of their little ones and doing jobs as well, You are amazing.

4. Do not spoil your baby by holding him for too long.

This one pisses me really off whenever I hear this. First of all, a Mom waits for the moment to hold her new born, she wants to cuddle, she wants her baby to sleep in her arms. Secondly, baby already has the habit of Mother, so this is not possible to spoil the baby by hold too much. Actually holding the baby too much is not even a thing, it is just made up so the mother can indulge herself in house-hold things, otherwise holding the baby too much means loving the baby too much and how can this be a bad thing? When mother opposes this by saying that No it is fine I can hug my baby whole day then it is said that people are saying for the sake of rest of the Mother. If you really want to help the mother or want her to rest a lot, help her changing the baby’s diaper or offer her food, water or whatever she wants. Do not expect her to give up her child for the sake of so called mother's rest. And for the mothers, I have read it somewhere that "Be warry of every advice that takes you away from your child."

5. Let your baby cry it out to self soothe.

Sometimes Mom has to hear that leave the baby for a moment and cry it out to self soothe himself. Baby will eventually fall asleep after sometime. That is very inhuman thing to say. Baby will not sooth himself and stop crying, baby will be tired and fall asleep after crying too much. So, If the baby is crying, please attend the baby and talk to the baby. Of-course you will not get any verbal response but they will be happy and will become emotionally strong.

6. Do not respond every call/ cry of your baby.

Researches show that ignoring the child’s need will lead to an ignorant behavior and they will learn that it is fine to ignore the needs. Trust your kid’s call. Babies are not manipulative like us. They have just entered the world, they are overwhelmed by every single thing, be it cold, hot or any emotion or may be they are teething. Remember your child is not giving you a hard time, your child is having a hard time. So answer every call and if anyone stops you, just ignore, then they will learn how it feels to be ignored. If they can’t handle that ignorance then tell them that being mature enough and able to handle your emotions, they can’t stand the ignorance, how a small baby will feel to be ignored.

7. Let your baby sleep alone at night.

It is totally fine to sleep with your baby in one bed. Ask your husband to sleep with you and the baby. It is a different kind of bonding you all will develop among you all. But yes, there are certain things to be taken care of such as do not cover your baby with long sheets and make sure their nose is open to breathe because new born children cannot breath through mouth, so make their nose open. Do not let it cover. SIDS is not something to ignore. Do not let sleep anyone with the baby who is a heavy sleeper or overtired. Be very very very careful if you are sleeping with your baby.

8. Do not feed your child lying down.

It is okay to feed your child lying down, specially for the recovering Moms. But again you have to make sure that milk is not flowing towards baby’s ears or baby is not respiring the milk. It will cause the mishappenings which no mother can ever think of. So be careful and awake while feeding your baby. Make sure your breasts are not covering the nose and baby is breathing well.

9. Burping is not necessary everytime.

Yes, this one can be followed but one should not make this a habit of quitting the burping the baby everytime. Burping is necessary but it is not necessary that a audible burp will come. Out of 10, baby will burp 5-6 times only. But you have to make sure that baby does not lie down immediately after the feed. Even if the baby is asleep, hold him upright or elevated then transfer him to the bed after 20 minutes. This will avoid cholic issues in the baby. Sometimes baby cries at night a lot and parent do not understand what is happening to the child. One of the main reason is stomach ache which is caused by the gas, it is unbearable and painful for the baby. So burp your baby everytime after the feed be it breast feed or bottle feed or formula feed.

10 . Do not let your child sleep in day or they will be awake at night.

This is again absurd. Babies in the beginning do not the difference in day and night. As a parent, we eventually make them understand the difference. So for few days baby is sleeping in day, please do not wake him up, baby will be cranky. Baby when in belly usually sleep when you are awake in day working or roaming around and they wake up at night when you lie down to sleep. Actually you walking or roaming gives them a rocking effect, that is the reason baby sleeps in day but you forcefully waking them up in day so they learn to sleep at night, will lead to failure. After 3-4 months, babies automatically learn to distinguish between day and night. Do not expect a lot from your little ones. Just love them and be there for them in their learning journey. They will learn everything with your support.

So, to all the wonderful mothers out there, trust your Mom gut and do what you feel is right for your baby. I know it is hard as you don't sleep uninterrupted for 7-8 hours as you used to, but this is just a phase you will miss later. Your baby will grow up and will sleep in another room then you can sleep for long hours but this is your baby's time. Take care of yourself and your baby. Ask for help not openions.

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